We have just finished our Christmas Eve dinner. It's suddenly Christmas and I did not realize how fast days are passing. I have some free time and I have so many things to do that I'm doing nothing. Meeting people, greeting Merry Christmas, trying to not forget anybody and so on. It's sure that this is a new Christmas, very different from the last. My family tradition are the same, but maybe I'm a different person, with a different life.
Christmas is the time you have to spend with the ones you love, isn't it?

Yesterday someone has stolen my ipod from my backpack. I had a bad exam. I was disappointed and pissed off. Today I had another exam, it was tough but I'm still alive. I'm walking on.
I'm positive, I went through worse things.

I'm going to live a long tough week. I spent ten weeks just studying, attending courses and trying to understand topics. After having an almost-six-year university career it's quite hard to start again as if i never had studied anything. This is the day before the beginning of my 4-exam-week. I'm unexpectedly calm,  nevertheless I'm exhausted and I need to go out, breathe fresh air, look at the sun. I have nothing to lose, maybe I could lose my face, but who cares? This will be not my life for ever.

These are strange days. It's not the first time I study for an exam. I'm studying with a different mind. It depends on what I'm gonna do after this. I've chosen  my pathway in same way. I've a long list of what I don't wanna be. 

The last two days were more strange than ever. Different people tell me how special I am. No question about the fact that they love me (or maybe they don't know me enough), but the question is that to fell esteemed we need to be told by someone in particular. And probably they will be the ones who will never ever tell the truth. Where have we failed? What did I do wrong?  Local non-satiated preferences, in Economics.We should appreciate ourself and not rely on someone's else judgement, especially because they don't care about you at all.

This does not seem to be the case, good grief. 

The first time I heard this song was short time ago. A dear friend of mine posted this video on my Facebook Timeline. I appreciated it at once, but without thinking about the lyrics. This evening I was getting ready and on the radio I listened to this song. I had a lightbulb moment. I thought about the song until I came home again. I read the lyrics and they caught me unprepared. I looked for the Italian translation just to be sure I had understood anything. I  perfectly did get it all. This is my hymn.

"And I found you with a bottle of wine 
Your head in the curtains 
And heart like the fourth of July" 

The 4th of July was a day so important for me. Somewhat my life changed and I found myself braver. I remember of that moment as the one in which I jumped over the wall and I finally decide to take care of me and take the best.

"My head is on fire 

But my legs are fine 
Cause after all they are mine 
Lay your clothes down on the floor 
Close the door 
Hold the phone 
Show me how 
No one's ever gonna stop us now"

In this period of my life when I feel like everything is screwing up and I'm running in circle, I know I still have my legs and I can walk and carry on.

"When we're miles away 

So we'll come 

We will find our way home..."

I'll always come back. But before I need to find my way home. Somewhere is my home,  I know. I've only to carry on.